And Now I'm Freaking Out


Photo from Zoutedrop's Photostream Flickr Creative Commons

I can't get that Ween song out of my head, because I am freaking out...sort of. For the next 8.5 months I am a free woman. Free of my day job, that is.  I now have nothing but vast expanses of time to work on all of my hobbies and - ehem - 'side projects' - e.m.papers being the main one. So now I can't curse my 9-5 gig from preventing me from tackling all the ambitious plans I  have, now it's all up to me, all up to me. No stress.

There is so much to do! After my first really successful Christmas season I can already see how I could easily have a staff of 3 - a social media marketing person, someone for Jooomla tech support and a book keeper...but unless I can find people with those skills that are into volunteering, I have to either do those jobs myself our outsource them (hallelujah for ODesk!)

On my first day of freedom I found myself spending the majority of the day trying to get my Mac to print to our ancient HP960c printer. It prints but the colors are all screwy. I spent the day in tech forums, installing a zillion different printer drivers and futzing with all of the printer settings - all to no avail. These kinds of frustrations send me into a tail spin. My (unusually patient and tolerant) husband came home to find me in a very foul mood, "So are you gonnna be like this until October?" No. I don't think so anyway. "Maybe I'm too ambitious, and this is all just a stupid idea, why am I doing this to myself!!" I howled. My husband then pointed out that I am indeed ambitious, but not too much so, and that I just have a very low threshold for frustration. He's right, waaaah.

So my first take-away during my leave of absence is: frustration is frustating, regardless of what it is your doing, and doing something you love does not eliminate it. I suppose it's slightly less frustrating than dealing with help desk tickets, or technical glitches at work when I'm trying to complete work that I largely don't care about, but it's still pretty fracking annoying and life-force draining when it is for stuff I do care about. Oh well, chin up and soldier on!

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